Hand Tying Ceremony

Rituals and Ceremonies

All human societies, over thousands of years, have used meaningful rituals to carry people through life’s transitions. Rituals are signposts that point the way to human growth and change, therefore it is refreshing to see that some of these rituals are being brought back into the marriage ceremony. Whether it is the Hand-fasting ceremony that was performed throughout Celtic Cultures and Europe many centuries ago, or the Sand Ceremony that is a recent addition, they are a wonderful addition to the Wedding Ceremony and can symbolise not only the joining of the couple, but also their families. These ceremonies are rich in meaning and understood by all who witness them.

Handfasting

In Europe and Britain until fairly recent times, Handfasting was the only way that couples were married. In England in 1753 Lord Harwicke Act decreed that only couples who were married by the clergy were legal.  However in Scotland, Handfasting remained legal until 1939, and couples from England would elope and go there for the Handfasting Ceremony.  Handfasting is where the couple linked their hands in a circle, symbolising the entirety of the universe, and their love.  Their hands, wrists to be exact, were bound with what was available vine, cord or colourful cloth.

In a Handfasting ceremony you can choose silk, cotton, or hemp; you can include a gold chain, ribbons, or something that belonged to your much loved grandmother or grandfather.  If you are using more than one piece of material cut them into the same length, about 2 ½ to 3 meters in length, and have different textures and material that matches the colour of your wedding.

You stand facing each other, cross your arms in front of your bodies, now, hold your partner’s hands, your arms will create a figure eight which is the symbol of infinity.

While the Celebrant gives a Blessing of the Hands, somebody special to you, maybe your best man or maid of honour takes the material and ties it around your wrists and through your hands to bind them together.

Tip: practice this at the rehearsal as it’s kind of tricky!

The celebrant or a significant or special person in your lives then says “As this knot is tied, so are your lives now bound. Woven into this cloth, into its very fibres, is all of the love of your family and friends. With the entwining of this knot do I tie all of the desires, dreams and love wished here in this place to your lives for as long as you may live.

In the joining of hands and the fashion of a knot, so are your lives now bound.  As a couple you are now entwined in love, bound by commitment, joy and sadness, suffering and victory, anger and reconciliation all of which brings strength to this union. Remember it is not this cloth, but what it represents that will keep you together.

“Blessing of the Hands” author unknown

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you,

that are holding yours on your wedding day,

as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years,

and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.

These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged,

will still be reaching for yours,

still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.”